Having children

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Re: Having children

Postby Doobie » Tue Jun 20, 2006 7:21 am

Oh, boy, here goes ... Rock, as much as I sympathize (and relate) to your story, it sounds like you're placing ALL of the blame on her. There are things you could have done to avoid getting someone preggers, no? But, yes, you did step up and take responsibility and that's what matters when it all comes down to it. I'm sure your son has mucho respect for ya!

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Re: Having children

Postby Gutterflower » Tue Jun 20, 2006 10:25 am

Rock wrote: So end of the day.......
I gave up a promising million dollar carreer to a groupie slut, who got preg to me, gave me an ultimatum, got too hard for her after 2 years, so she leaves me, fkn takes my house etc etc etc and continued to take my money till I got custody of him coz he hated it with her, and now she cant even bother seeing her kid. As it is, I over payed her 53,000 dollars and she isnt required to pay it back, yet if she still had him, and I was behind, I would have to pay that and sell my house to do so........

This is only m y story, but I bet alot of blokes get stung by money grubbing sluts........I was bitter, but I have my kid now, she destroyed my life for a long time, not only that, my boy wishes he had a family, u know the family I grew up with and most ppl did when they were young, the family with a real mum and dad..the original mum and dad, is why I gave it all up to start with, but she had other ideas.

I came from a family that are still together, my parents have been together for 44 years now, and so are all my bros and sisters and uncles etc....seems like this day and age, kids arent considered, which are the ones that truly suffer. My son and I have moved on, but the poor kid, will always wonder where his mum is, and why didnt he have a normal family..like nanna and pop......and that fkn hurts me more than me wondering what would have life been like with a considerate partner, that let me take my career as far as I could, would be good to d oit with someone and my family together.


Unfortunately, it goes both ways. I've got friends who had babies with their husbands or boyfriends and got stuck trying to make ends meet on their own, with no financial help. And the fathers who only want to be around their kids when it's convenient for them, if at all.

Hindsight is 20/20, obviously. But it's pathetic how some people use their kids as bargaining chips-to squeeze more money out of their exes or the government or to use as emotional blackmail. And you're right, it's the kids that suffer.

Your son might be sad about his mother not coming around, but hopefully when he gets older he'll realize that it may have all worked out for the best. It sounds like it's probably a good thing that she's not in his life anyway. Think of the upheaval and the stress! At least you've got a solid family background, so your son knows what it's like to be part of a 'real' family. Maybe nothing can take the place of a mother, but it sounds like you're doing a good job of it. Your ex doesn't sound like she was much of a mother anyway, so what would he be missing? In the end, your kid knows that it's YOU that's been there for him. That's all that really matters. So don't beat yourself up about not providing him with a so called real family. He's got more than a lot of kids out there-a father who loves him.
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Re: Having children

Postby Deansolo » Tue Jun 20, 2006 12:26 pm

TONS of respect from me Rock! Takes a big man to do what you did for your boy! I have a friend whose deadbeat ex-wife did nearly the same to him (although he wasn't a rocker)... he made big sacrifices just like you are. His 2 boys (2 yrs apart) turned out to be the greatest young adults. Mostly 'cuz they knew their dad would do anything for 'em and that they had a great sense of family. It sounds like you're using the same approach....so I'm sure your son's turning out to be a great little kid! :)
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Re: Having children

Postby Rock » Wed Jun 21, 2006 3:56 am

Doobie wrote:Oh, boy, here goes ... Rock, as much as I sympathize (and relate) to your story, it sounds like you're placing ALL of the blame on her. There are things you could have done to avoid getting someone preggers, no? But, yes, you did step up and take responsibility and that's what matters when it all comes down to it. I'm sure your son has mucho respect for ya!


Nah, I done blame her at all, we actually planned to have kids, but it happened sooner rather than later. I was pissed more at the fact, I gave up everything I worked hard for, for her and the family, then when she finds it all too hard she leaves, not only that, takes most of what I do have anyway, and dictates to me when I saw my kid, now I have him, where is she now for him, I feel sorry for him.

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Re: Having children

Postby Fakeblue » Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:46 pm

Rock wrote:I could do a novel here on having kids in the 21st century, but I am not.....u know why, coz everyones, financial situation is different, their sexuality is different, and their plain old situation with how the baby/baby was conceived is different. Maybe it was a one night stand, maybe it was with a partner that never wanted kids or even they both tried but couldnt do it, so it was a test tube baby. Either way, everyone has their own idea what makes a family, and how to go about it, or how it came about, weather it was their choice or not. Anyway, I will tell u my story instead, coz everyone has a story, to why and how it all came about.

I was 27, young, free, playing in one of the biggest unsighned bands in Oz, I meet a really nice chick, cut to the chase....she gets preg, throws me the deal..U either want to be a rockstar, or a dad. I was just about to leave for london with my band, that was on the border of greatness, to do a tour of europe, and I get told that after giving my life for over 10 years to music to give it all up, funny thing is, I was so over whelmed with her being preg, i stayed here, and they took another guitarist, and it all fell apart, but that is another story in itself.

What I am saying is.......ther is nothing wrong with bringing a life in to this world, it is the most beautiful thing to do, the day when my son was born, when he was coming out entering this world, I cried, and cried, it is the most amzing thing u can go through, but there is everything after that. I had my kid with the wrong person, the right person would have let me go/come with me to europe to fullfill my dreams, not get knocked up to stop me going coz she was/is so fkn insecure. She fucked my music carrer doing that, something I worked hard for, for way over 10 years b4 I met her, and the fkn funny thing is, my boy is 11 now, never see's his mum, coz she is a fkn idiot that doesnt care, and he lives with me.

So heres the fkn equation...I give up everything for a chick that gets preg, coz I have good family values, and same time she is a selfish bitch for making me give it all up, when she had the choice to come too. We split, she wont let me have kid, I give her fkn thousands and thousands over the years, then when I cut the well, and say fuk u bitch, she gives me custody, and makes me look like a cunt to everyone etc etc etc etc, and now after all that, she doesnt even come and see her 11 yr old boy...Been 2 fkn years now.

So end of the day.......
I gave up a promising million dollar carreer to a groupie slut, who got preg to me, gave me an ultimatum, got too hard for her after 2 years, so she leaves me, fkn takes my house etc etc etc and continued to take my money till I got custody of him coz he hated it with her, and now she cant even bother seeing her kid. As it is, I over payed her 53,000 dollars and she isnt required to pay it back, yet if she still had him, and I was behind, I would have to pay that and sell my house to do so........

This is only m y story, but I bet alot of blokes get stung by money grubbing sluts........I was bitter, but I have my kid now, she destroyed my life for a long time, not only that, my boy wishes he had a family, u know the family I grew up with and most ppl did when they were young, the family with a real mum and dad..the original mum and dad, is why I gave it all up to start with, but she had other ideas.

I came from a family that are still together, my parents have been together for 44 years now, and so are all my bros and sisters and uncles etc....seems like this day and age, kids arent considered, which are the ones that truly suffer. My son and I have moved on, but the poor kid, will always wonder where his mum is, and why didnt he have a normal family..like nanna and pop......and that fkn hurts me more than me wondering what would have life been like with a considerate partner, that let me take my career as far as I could, would be good to d oit with someone and my family together.


Whow Rock, thk you very much for sharing your story. What you went through somehow touched me because I have a trust problem. Well I don't know how you say that in English but what I'm trying to say is that I have a hard time to put my faith in someone. It's like, I don't know how to explain that but when women talk about babies they sometimes get so carried away that they make me feel like the baby is even more important than the love relationship that led to pregnancy.

My sister wants a baby, and when she talks about it, you really feel like it comes from her guts. Like something beyond her will. So I don't mean to fall in some bullshit generalisation but I'm affraid of women who can make a baby in your back. Not with somebody else, but without telling you she didn't take her pills. Yeah I know this sounds ridiculous but I had to say it lol sorry for pouring out that crap.

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Re: Having children

Postby Rock » Thu Jun 22, 2006 4:18 am

Nah, u are sought of right fakeblue, I always wondered sometimes if she done it on purpose, although we did plan to have kids, I wanted to go tour in europe and do a few things b4 we settled down. She wasnt too kean on me going, so I did offer her to come. Without bragging or sounding like a dick, I did most of the time, get most chicks I wanted, lot had to do with being in a semi-succesful band, but the thing is, it wasnt hard to get as many as I wanted, but I really fell in love with Wendy (Sons Mum), and when she got preg I was so excited, and I was there for the birth. Everything went well, I got to cut the umbilical cord, and give my son his first bath, 10 mins after he was born. Being there watching him being born, was the most amazing experience in my life, nothing will beat it, any gig, playing in any band etc. If any of u guys out there that have experienced will know what I mean, if u havnt, and if u have the chance oneday to witness it, dont miss it for a thing, it is a really emotional experience, and u feel feelings u never knew existed. :)

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Re: Having children

Postby Doobie » Thu Jun 22, 2006 4:50 am

Awwwwww, how sweet, Rock. Sweet, indeed. I called my daughter's "dad" to inform him of her birth :roll: . My sis was with me in the labor and delivery rooms and she spilled a few tears as my daughter was born. So, yea, it must be something to be part of a birth.

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Re: Having children

Postby Fakeblue » Thu Jun 22, 2006 5:12 am

Rock wrote:Nah, u are sought of right fakeblue, I always wondered sometimes if she done it on purpose, although we did plan to have kids, I wanted to go tour in europe and do a few things b4 we settled down. She wasnt too kean on me going, so I did offer her to come. Without bragging or sounding like a dick, I did most of the time, get most chicks I wanted, lot had to do with being in a semi-succesful band, but the thing is, it wasnt hard to get as many as I wanted, but I really fell in love with Wendy (Sons Mum), and when she got preg I was so excited, and I was there for the birth. Everything went well, I got to cut the umbilical cord, and give my son his first bath, 10 mins after he was born. Being there watching him being born, was the most amazing experience in my life, nothing will beat it, any gig, playing in any band etc. If any of u guys out there that have experienced will know what I mean, if u havnt, and if u have the chance oneday to witness it, dont miss it for a thing, it is a really emotional experience, and u feel feelings u never knew existed. :)


Did the idea of starting another band ever crossed your mind ? Did they really became so famous after you left ? Maybe your past experiences would make your comeback full of inspiration and ideas for lyrics. As Tommy Lee said, Motley Crüe chooses to write about real things that happened to them in life, instead of writing about castles and dragons and ghosts...so who knows...give it a try ...

PS : I have nothing against heroic fantasy metal stuff. I love Helloween, Entombed and stuff like that ;-)

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Re: Having children

Postby Rock » Thu Jun 22, 2006 6:01 am

Yeh fakeblue, I am working on some good stuff as we speak, I was pretty out there for awhile after the split with the X, took me awhile to really get past that period, started getting in to diff things, wasnt until i got custody of my kid 4 years ago, I really started feeling good again, and last december went and seen Motley Crue and Motorhead, I ran in to alot of old band mates and acquatances, swapped some phone numbers, caught with a few, and now working on some great original stuff with a couple of guys which are all very talented and been around playing 20+ years, and we are coming up with really beefy riffy songs. We are just a 3 piece at the moment, we had another drummer, but he wasnt really cutting it, but the singer is a kickas drummer and great singer, so he is playing drums for the time being. We are taking our time finding the right drummer, coz we want our singer up front, not behind drums coz he is a great front man.... Heres a thread I posted a few weeks ago of some old originals I done in the early 90's. What we are doing now is a bit diff. Enjoy

http://www.jakeelee.com/html/testconver ... .php?t=313

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Re: Having children

Postby Fakeblue » Thu Jun 22, 2006 9:32 am

Rock wrote:Yeh fakeblue, I am working on some good stuff as we speak, I was pretty out there for awhile after the split with the X, took me awhile to really get past that period, started getting in to diff things, wasnt until i got custody of my kid 4 years ago, I really started feeling good again, and last december went and seen Motley Crue and Motorhead, I ran in to alot of old band mates and acquatances, swapped some phone numbers, caught with a few, and now working on some great original stuff with a couple of guys which are all very talented and been around playing 20+ years, and we are coming up with really beefy riffy songs. We are just a 3 piece at the moment, we had another drummer, but he wasnt really cutting it, but the singer is a kickas drummer and great singer, so he is playing drums for the time being. We are taking our time finding the right drummer, coz we want our singer up front, not behind drums coz he is a great front man.... Heres a thread I posted a few weeks ago of some old originals I done in the early 90's. What we are doing now is a bit diff. Enjoy

http://www.jakeelee.com/html/testconver ... .php?t=313


Whow thks for sharing. Did you make that with a 8 track ? It sounds better than all I could record. I suppose you are playing guitar on that. Reminds me a TV interview of that australian band called 'The screaming jets'. They said the Australian music industry sucks. It takes a band 5-6 years of gigs before they spend money on you. is that true ?

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Re: Having children

Postby PoetsandMadmen » Thu Jun 22, 2006 1:05 pm

Rock,

I like your demos man! I really enjoyed Pigman, because it has an Alice and Chains vibe to it.

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Re: Having children

Postby Gutterflower » Fri Jun 23, 2006 2:54 pm

Fakeblue wrote:Whow Rock, thk you very much for sharing your story. What you went through somehow touched me because I have a trust problem. Well I don't know how you say that in English but what I'm trying to say is that I have a hard time to put my faith in someone. It's like, I don't know how to explain that but when women talk about babies they sometimes get so carried away that they make me feel like the baby is even more important than the love relationship that led to pregnancy.

My sister wants a baby, and when she talks about it, you really feel like it comes from her guts. Like something beyond her will. So I don't mean to fall in some bullshit generalisation but I'm affraid of women who can make a baby in your back. Not with somebody else, but without telling you she didn't take her pills. Yeah I know this sounds ridiculous but I had to say it lol sorry for pouring out that crap.


See, I knew I was missing a gene! lol I have never felt that urge to procreate, it's just not in me. I'm pretty happy to be childless. :D

I wonder if Moose6 and his wife had their baby yet? I hope everything went smoothly for them.
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Re: Having children

Postby Rock » Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:54 pm

Fakeblue wrote:
Rock wrote:Yeh fakeblue, I am working on some good stuff as we speak, I was pretty out there for awhile after the split with the X, took me awhile to really get past that period, started getting in to diff things, wasnt until i got custody of my kid 4 years ago, I really started feeling good again, and last december went and seen Motley Crue and Motorhead, I ran in to alot of old band mates and acquatances, swapped some phone numbers, caught with a few, and now working on some great original stuff with a couple of guys which are all very talented and been around playing 20+ years, and we are coming up with really beefy riffy songs. We are just a 3 piece at the moment, we had another drummer, but he wasnt really cutting it, but the singer is a kickas drummer and great singer, so he is playing drums for the time being. We are taking our time finding the right drummer, coz we want our singer up front, not behind drums coz he is a great front man.... Heres a thread I posted a few weeks ago of some old originals I done in the early 90's. What we are doing now is a bit diff. Enjoy

http://www.jakeelee.com/html/testconver ... .php?t=313


Whow thks for sharing. Did you make that with a 8 track ? It sounds better than all I could record. I suppose you are playing guitar on that. Reminds me a TV interview of that australian band called 'The screaming jets'. They said the Australian music industry sucks. It takes a band 5-6 years of gigs before they spend money on you. is that true ?


Yeh I know the screaming jets well, I am good mates more so with the bass player paul wossen, and I remember when they first cracked it with the help of the Angels (Angel City). It can take awhile, u have to remember, our population is only 20 million, and hard rock/rock isnt a big chunk of the pie, thats why alot of bands go to independant labels, and hopefully crack the U.S/European markets, then again, alot has changed since I was playing fulltime.
That was recorded in a normal studio, but we just had limited hours to put it down, mix and produce, so alot of time wasnt spent on the drum sound etc ect, so it was pretty rushed, but for what we paid, we were pretty happy. :)

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Re: Having children

Postby Fakeblue » Sat Jun 24, 2006 2:39 am

Rock wrote:
Fakeblue wrote:
Rock wrote:Yeh fakeblue, I am working on some good stuff as we speak, I was pretty out there for awhile after the split with the X, took me awhile to really get past that period, started getting in to diff things, wasnt until i got custody of my kid 4 years ago, I really started feeling good again, and last december went and seen Motley Crue and Motorhead, I ran in to alot of old band mates and acquatances, swapped some phone numbers, caught with a few, and now working on some great original stuff with a couple of guys which are all very talented and been around playing 20+ years, and we are coming up with really beefy riffy songs. We are just a 3 piece at the moment, we had another drummer, but he wasnt really cutting it, but the singer is a kickas drummer and great singer, so he is playing drums for the time being. We are taking our time finding the right drummer, coz we want our singer up front, not behind drums coz he is a great front man.... Heres a thread I posted a few weeks ago of some old originals I done in the early 90's. What we are doing now is a bit diff. Enjoy

http://www.jakeelee.com/html/testconver ... .php?t=313


Whow thks for sharing. Did you make that with a 8 track ? It sounds better than all I could record. I suppose you are playing guitar on that. Reminds me a TV interview of that australian band called 'The screaming jets'. They said the Australian music industry sucks. It takes a band 5-6 years of gigs before they spend money on you. is that true ?


Yeh I know the screaming jets well, I am good mates more so with the bass player paul wossen, and I remember when they first cracked it with the help of the Angels (Angel City). It can take awhile, u have to remember, our population is only 20 million, and hard rock/rock isnt a big chunk of the pie, thats why alot of bands go to independant labels, and hopefully crack the U.S/European markets, then again, alot has changed since I was playing fulltime.
That was recorded in a normal studio, but we just had limited hours to put it down, mix and produce, so alot of time wasnt spent on the drum sound etc ect, so it was pretty rushed, but for what we paid, we were pretty happy. :)


I had friends who did the same than you here. Paid quite a big sum of money but got out with something to show. I just bought this http://fr.audiofanzine.com/news/index,i ... 79743.html I am trying to play guitar again, I went through severe inspiration vasectomy, lol is that the right word ? and, anyway my axe started to really make me feel like a lame so I put it down for a while but now that I have another job I feel better so I'm going to record some new shit. I guess the sound is not gonna be as good as you"re demo with that 450$ thing, but ho well it's gonna be fun ? Would you happen to know if Grant Wesley is still in the band , (Screamings Jets) ?. Did they come up with something new ?

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Re: Having children

Postby Fakeblue » Sat Jun 24, 2006 2:43 am

Gutterflower wrote:
Fakeblue wrote:Whow Rock, thk you very much for sharing your story. What you went through somehow touched me because I have a trust problem. Well I don't know how you say that in English but what I'm trying to say is that I have a hard time to put my faith in someone. It's like, I don't know how to explain that but when women talk about babies they sometimes get so carried away that they make me feel like the baby is even more important than the love relationship that led to pregnancy.

My sister wants a baby, and when she talks about it, you really feel like it comes from her guts. Like something beyond her will. So I don't mean to fall in some bullshit generalisation but I'm affraid of women who can make a baby in your back. Not with somebody else, but without telling you she didn't take her pills. Yeah I know this sounds ridiculous but I had to say it lol sorry for pouring out that crap.


See, I knew I was missing a gene! lol I have never felt that urge to procreate, it's just not in me. I'm pretty happy to be childless. :D

I wonder if Moose6 and his wife had their baby yet? I hope everything went smoothly for them.

Well I'm pretty much the same way. I got trpped in some sort of a 'Internal' life lol I'm trying to say I live pretty much inside my mind, my thought, etc.....I'm pretty much a loner and I like to have time on my own...I don't think I would ne a good father.

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