Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

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Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby Fedaykin » Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:08 am

Jake was born Jakob Geza Laszlo in Szeged, Hungary during the dark days of communism. His parents met as students at the University of Budapest, and were survivors of the '56 uprising against the Soviets, which was brutally suppressed. Jake was born a year later after being conceived in revolution. As the famous story goes, Jake escaped with nothing but some contraband Myron Florin records, a mason jar of paprika, and a Trabant acoustic which he used as a flotation device to float down the Danube where he was rescued by an Austrian tugboat in Vienna. From Vienna Jake made his way to America where he was accepted at the Yankovic Conservatory in Ditmars, New York. It was at Yankovic, among fellow Central European emigres, that Jake discovered rock and roll when he heard The Yardbirds. He electrified his Trabant with parts from a hairdryer and an erector set, and joined a band, Franky and the Pintos, which developed quit a following in Flushing. It was while rehearsing at a study in Yonkers that Jake met The Dictators and traded his Trabant to Dick Manitoba for a hardtail strat. It was this same hardtail strat that Jake took with him to Los Angles where he teamed up with another group of Hungarian exile musicians in a band called Mickey Rat. This strat was eventually modified by Charvel. Unknown to many fans is the secret of Jake's tremendous speed, which has to do with rubbing the necks of his guitars with fresh, Szeged paprika before every show. In fact, Jake so believed in the power of paprika that he wore a specially made glove rubbed with paprika before every show with Ozzy on the BATM tour. This is also why he frequently tucked red bandanas into his belt: they were full of paprika. If you are ever so lucky to meet the master, ask him which brand of paprika he prefers. So now ya'll know the rest of the story.
Egészségedre!
“My parents wanted me to be the next Van Cliburn, but I wanted to be the next Van Halen.”

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Re: Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby guitarninja » Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:58 am

I knew the real story would come out someday, let me guess you are the latest "lady friend" of Da OGE and he told you this story while slaving over a boiling cauldron of fresh alfredo sauce and now the two of you are laughing like giddy school girls as the Jake fans try to figure this all out.
Great piece of fiction, only problem is you are probably going to get that
whack job, floridageorgiawingnut back to posting. Love your story though, it would make a very inspirational movie of the week on the new oprah channel.

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Re: Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby Rock » Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:49 pm

Hahahahahaha

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Re: Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby tenfingersofdoom » Mon Jun 13, 2011 7:58 pm

brilliant!!!

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Re: Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby Shadow » Tue Jun 14, 2011 5:21 pm

...'Uh, I don't think so, very waayyy outthere "made-up" story.

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Re: Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby Doobie » Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:01 am

Shadow wrote:...'Uh, I don't think so, very waayyy outthere "made-up" story.


Ya think? :roll:

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Re: Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby Rock » Fri Jun 17, 2011 7:42 pm

Doobie wrote:
Shadow wrote:...'Uh, I don't think so, very waayyy outthere "made-up" story.


Ya think? :roll:



Hahaha I think its classic, I think us, the real fans know its intended as a joke, but funny as fuk, love it, this guy should be writing movies like Spinal Tap stuff etc haha GOLD!!!!

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Re: Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby Fedaykin » Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:51 pm

One thing about Yngwie not known to the world at large is just what an asset he has been to keeping the friendly skies, well, friendly. As an agent with the DHS skymarshal service, he has kept many shady characters in check by screaming at them, "You've released the fucking fury!"
“My parents wanted me to be the next Van Cliburn, but I wanted to be the next Van Halen.”

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Re: Jakob Geza Lazlo, the pride of Hungary

Postby tenfingersofdoom » Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:47 am

haaaaaaa! pretty good fedaykin

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