Having children

[Doobie]

Yeah, but just wait 'til they pull that one thing that just makes you wonder where the eff you went wrong. It just happened to me and now I feel like I failed completely in raising her. (no! she's not pregnant!)

[pejale]

No Doobie
All you can do is bring up your kids to the best of your ability. No=one knows how their children will turn out,good or bad.
There are no doubt plenty of bad or indifferent parents out there.
A bad kid does not neccessarily mean bad parents,my parents brought me up well but i can't say i was exactly a model son.
For me,parents are the most important people in a child's life but a child has to grow into an adult,with his/hers own feelings and insecurities which,as parents,we are probably the last to know about.
You only fail with kids when you have nothing to do with them.
Doobie,you are a parent,life is supposed to be made awkward for you. (So i'm told by various nephews and nieces who only want to speak to me when they want money)
WELCOME

[Doobie]

I know, I know. She's not a bad kid. She just did something to alter her appearance that I find unneccessary and unbecoming. I respect her individuality but, damn, she ruined her looks in my opinion. I knew she was going to do it but, she had asked my opinion beforehand (which I gave sincerely) and I was hoping she respected it. Guess I was wrong! Oh, well ... I'm sure this won't be the last time but, I sure can hope it is!

[Deansolo]

My wife and I have no desire to have children....... I have many nieces and nephews that will carry on the family name and all that. Am I that bad of a guy because I chose not to devote my life to children? Where I live the majority of people with kids seem to think that they have more rights in society than the childless due to the fact that they're raising kids. They have an attitude that the childless must defer to thier decision to raise a family. Case in point...Why does the HOA give me shit for playing guitar (expertly I might add ) and are reluctant and or refuse to warn the family whose kid screams incessantly all day long about the noise nuisance as per the rules of owning a home in this neighborhood? Is it because I have long hair and have a "weird" job, or is it because they (also parents) feel the noise regulations don't apply to people with kids?

In the words of Robert Plant... "It really makes me wonder".

[mrmetal]

Am I that bad of a guy because I chose not to devote my life to children?

Who said that? Are you shooting blanks? Who cares?

Where I live the majority of people with kids seem to think that they have more rights in society than the childless due to the fact that they're raising kids. They have an attitude that the childless must defer to thier decision to raise a family.

You live in California. I am not surprised.

Case in point...Why does the HOA give me shit for playing guitar (expertly I might add ) and are reluctant and or refuse to warn the family whose kid screams incessantly all day long about the noise nuisance as per the rules of owning a home in this neighborhood?

Because you are a hippy. Deal with it.

[Deansolo]

Grrrrrrr!

[Gutterflower]

My wife and I have no desire to have children....... I have many nieces and nephews that will carry on the family name and all that. Am I that bad of a guy because I chose not to devote my life to children? Where I live the majority of people with kids seem to think that they have more rights in society than the childless due to the fact that they're raising kids. They have an attitude that the childless must defer to thier decision to raise a family. Case in point...Why does the HOA give me shit for playing guitar (expertly I might add ) and are reluctant and or refuse to warn the family whose kid screams incessantly all day long about the noise nuisance as per the rules of owning a home in this neighborhood? Is it because I have long hair and have a "weird" job, or is it because they (also parents) feel the noise regulations don't apply to people with kids?

In the words of Robert Plant... "It really makes me wonder".

There's definitely bias towards people with kids. At work, coworkers are always taking off for kid related shit and lots of times not being charged their vacation days for it. Many of them exaggerate and use their children as an excuse for getting out of things, too. If you're single and childless, like me, they tend to act like your family related events aren't as important and should defer to those with kids. F*ck that noise! Don't discriminate just because I don't have children. Maybe I need to rent a kid so that I can say I'm taking it somewhere.

We had an argument over schedules, and someone was bitching that it was hard to work certain hours due to daycare issues or whatever. Well, I sympathize, but you know...you chose to have that kid, so deal with it. Maybe I had to take my cat to the vet. Maybe I had other stuff to do. But don't dump on me because it's inconvenient for you and your kid. It's not right that I have to take up their slack, and I won't. I'm not a total hardass, but I hate when people act like they should be given preference just because of their children. My life is just as important as yours, so don't act like it's less just because I chose not to procreate. Anyway, I always stand my ground so that particular coworker managed to rearrange their daycare or whatever and hey, guess what...it worked out.

There, I feel better. [/rant OFF]

[PoetsandMadmen]

My wife and I have no desire to have children....... I have many nieces and nephews that will carry on the family name and all that. Am I that bad of a guy because I chose not to devote my life to children? Where I live the majority of people with kids seem to think that they have more rights in society than the childless due to the fact that they're raising kids. They have an attitude that the childless must defer to thier decision to raise a family. Case in point...Why does the HOA give me shit for playing guitar (expertly I might add ) and are reluctant and or refuse to warn the family whose kid screams incessantly all day long about the noise nuisance as per the rules of owning a home in this neighborhood? Is it because I have long hair and have a "weird" job, or is it because they (also parents) feel the noise regulations don't apply to people with kids?

In the words of Robert Plant... "It really makes me wonder".

There's definitely bias towards people with kids. At work, coworkers are always taking off for kid related shit and lots of times not being charged their vacation days for it. Many of them exaggerate and use their children as an excuse for getting out of things, too. If you're single and childless, like me, they tend to act like your family related events aren't as important and should defer to those with kids. F*ck that noise! Don't discriminate just because I don't have children. Maybe I need to rent a kid so that I can say I'm taking it somewhere.

We had an argument over schedules, and someone was bitching that it was hard to work certain hours due to daycare issues or whatever. Well, I sympathize, but you know...you chose to have that kid, so deal with it. Maybe I had to take my cat to the vet. Maybe I had other stuff to do. But don't dump on me because it's inconvenient for you and your kid. It's not right that I have to take up their slack, and I won't. I'm not a total hardass, but I hate when people act like they should be given preference just because of their children. My life is just as important as yours, so don't act like it's less just because I chose not to procreate. Anyway, I always stand my ground so that particular coworker managed to rearrange their daycare or whatever and hey, guess what...it worked out.

There, I feel better. [/rant OFF]

You're 100% correct in your thinking! I work in personnel, so I have people giving me the kids excuse constantly. I know where you're coming from for sure.

[mrmetal]

I don't agree with any of that rant at all. I don't push my kids on anyone, nor do I go around thinking I should get special treatment.

I need to get a job where you guys work. If I don't finish my assignments, I get to take it home with me and do it in the evenings and on weekends.

[mrmetal]

Grrrrrrr!

Aw c'mon Dean. We can't agree all the time buddy...

[Deansolo]

Yeah,.....That's what I thought!

[Gutterflower]

I don't agree with any of that rant at all. I don't push my kids on anyone, nor do I go around thinking I should get special treatment.

I need to get a job where you guys work. If I don't finish my assignments, I get to take it home with me and do it in the evenings and on weekends.

I knew my rant was going to irk someone

I'm talking about my coworkers specifically, not everyone who has children. There are lots of parents out there who suck it up and just take care of family business without whining. I commend those who can achieve that balance, because it's hard. I chose not to follow that path because I don't want to deal. My company is very family oriented, which I'm fine with...except when my coworkers with kids try to push for preferential treatment or use the kid excuse to get out of their turn to work late or on Saturdays. That's bullsh*t.

Do you honestly think it's fair that a single childless person should have to work all of the crap hours just because someone else's kid has soccer practice every other night or something? Or that a coworker should NOT be charged their vacation time because they had to leave early for a kid related emergency? If I have a family emergency and need to leave early, I have to use my vacation time. This is the kind of crap I'm talking about.

[mrmetal]

I knew my rant was going to irk someone

It didn't irk me all the much Guttergal,

No, that is a very unfair situation. I don't have shifts or hours. I have a professional, salaried position. So I work all the time when stuff needs to get done and I come to the office everyday.

[Gutterflower]

Half of my office is salaried and the other half isn't. We have core hours that we have to work but we also have to take turns working late and on Saturdays to be there for the customers. Everyone hates it, but we're an insurance claims department so we have to be available. Sometimes people even bring their kids in to the office when they have to work those hours, and I have to say that 99% of the kids are so well behaved that you don't even know they're there. It's just that 1%...

So now that we have this kid thread going, I'm curious. How many kids does everyone have? I just have a cat. She's 21 this year so she can drink legally now.

[PoetsandMadmen]

Gutterflower, I deal with people everyday that have the attitudes that the world owes them something because they have a crap load of kids! I'm also convinced that a lot people have kids just to get government help! That's an entirly different thread though. Again, we deal with these sort of folk a lot where I work.

I realize you weren't including everyone in your rant and neither was I.

Mr. Metal, I don't know you personally, but judging from past conversations, I have the impression that you're a responsible person. I say that because my agreeing with Gutter was strictly having the general U.S. population in mind. Personally, I wasn't thinking of anyone on this forum.